Marrying a Turkish Man: 3 Facts and 3 Myths

Our compatriots choose them as husbands more often than other foreigners. Family life with Turkish men turns out differently for Ukrainian women.

Turkish grooms are popular in Ukraine: according to statistics, our compatriots choose them as husbands more often than other foreigners. Family life with Turkish men turns out differently for Ukrainian women. “If you marry him, it’s like a cage,” “you’ll become a victim of a tyrant” — some warn. “I live like the wife of a Turkish sultan,” — others boast. “Mandy” has studied the reviews of Ukrainian wives about Turkish men and tried to understand the nuances of interethnic marriages, separating facts from myths and speculation.

Fact 1: The Wife Must Obey Her Husband

In a Turkish family, roles are distributed traditionally: the husband is the head of the family, the woman is the keeper of the hearth, so equality or partnership relations are most often out of the question. The husband makes all important decisions and earns money, the wife creates home comfort, takes care of her husband and children. In their companions, Eastern men value restraint, humility, and the ability to avoid conflicts. They do not accept a commanding tone or reproaches — the wife must speak to her husband respectfully, demonstrating respect and feminine weakness.

Another important family member is the mother-in-law: Turks listen to their mother’s wishes much more often than to the opinion of their other half. Building a relationship with a domineering mother-in-law is a difficult task that not all Ukrainian wives manage.

Fact 2: Turkish Men Are Caring Husbands and Fathers

Ukrainian women who live happily married to Turks praise them for their decency, reliability, and ability to take care of the family. “There are many advantages to living with a Turk. My husband is very hardworking, earns well, and brings money home. Besides, he is very caring and romantic, we are truly happy,” says Tetiana.

Turks, as a rule, love children very much and actively participate in their upbringing, not shifting all responsibility onto the wife.

A Turkish dad is quite capable of changing a baby’s diaper, attending parent-teacher meetings at school, taking the child to the clinic or to the sea. Parents pay a lot of attention to children but try not to spoil them excessively.

Fact 3: Turks Are Very Jealous

Ukrainian wives often complain about the excessive suspicion and pathological jealousy of Turkish men. They strive to control every step of their life companions, monitor their calls and correspondence, demand a report even for a trip to the store, and force them to wear closed clothing. Any sign of attention from another man can become a reason for a domestic scandal: a careless word or look is enough for a husband to accuse his wife of inappropriate behavior.

Myth 1: You Will Have to Accept Islam

Many people think that when marrying a Muslim, a Ukrainian girl must accept his religion. This is not entirely true: in every family, the question of faith is decided individually. Some do decide to convert to Islam, while others declare before the wedding that they will keep their beliefs. “Each of us respects the other as they are and does not try to remake them to suit oneself. Of course, like all people, we adapt to each other in some aspects. But this is definitely not about religion and faith,” believe Daria and Serkan.

Myth 2: Turkish Wives Do Not Work

Married Turkish women indeed often stay at home, taking care of the household and children, but a non-working Ukrainian wife is rather an exception. As a rule, former Ukrainian women work in their husbands’ companies, helping them run their business. Others manage to find work in the specialty they obtained back home, and some monetize their own hobbies — for example, organizing photo shoots, conducting yoga classes, or earning from blogging.

Myth 3: It Is Easy to Divorce a Turk

This is not true at all: Turks try by all means to avoid divorces. On the one hand, many of them are truly attached to their families; on the other hand, divorce is not at all beneficial for them: in this case, the husband must pay not only child support but also compensation to the wife.

“He treated me dishonestly: under the laws of Turkey, upon divorce, the husband pays the woman compensation and must pay alimony until she remarries or finds a job. But he forced me through threats to sign documents stating that I renounce everything,” shares a former Kyiv resident the story of her divorce.

The divorce process in Turkey is a long and exhausting procedure. Children, as a rule, stay with the mother — if the husband cannot prove that the wife behaved immorally and unworthily. But it will most likely not be possible to take the child out of the country without the consent of the former husband.